It Was So Beautiful
by Zethsuo Rakku
Summary: It was so beautiful. And yet, it hurt so much. She was all mine, before. But not now, never again.


**It was so beautiful**

* * *

"Kakashi?"

Someone called my name. I heard her. I heard her perfectly. Her voiced that used to say my name with so much love. But no more. My chest tightened. I didn't want to face her.

Even so, I turned. "Sakura. Hi."

"How are you?"

Such a beautiful face. Her blond hair still a shade of pink, now darker because of the red light from the decorative lamps near us. I used to look into her eyes back then, when life was so simple. When she meant the world to me. I want to look again. Now I can't.

I shrugged. "Fine. As you can see."

And we both smiled. But that was not the smile that I want to see on her face again. It was not the same smile that she used to give me. As it was not the same smile that I used to give her either. It was fake.

"How are you? I see you are a doctor now."

She looked surprised. "You knew?"

"Who wouldn't? I saw your interview with the local TV on youtube some time ago. That was great, Doctor."

"You saw that? Oh my God." She looked mortified.

"What? You did something great that day."

"As a doctor should." She said offhandedly.

"Really. Not every doctor would do what you did that day, you know. They thaught that he was dead, but you didn't. You should be proud."

"Ugh. They practically drag me after I operate a victim right on the street, with blood still on my clothes. And my hair in complete disaray. I was a mess. That was embarrassing."

"You looked beautiful, don't worry." It was so easy to say.

"Oh. Umm … thanks." She blushed. I accidentally look in to her eyes. It hurt. So I looked away. That was when I caught a glimp of something on her finger.

It hurt so much.

She was mine. She was all mine before. Her hand was mine to hold. Her eyes was mine to look at. Her heart was mine to pleased.

We met a long time ago. A twelve year old girl in a farm land, following two boys running around with their kites that afternoon. I took a photo of them that will make me a winner in a photography contest a year later.

Then I called the three of them over. I want to take a photo with them. It took a long time for them to figure out the position that they want. The boy with the blond hair is Naruto, he was so cheerful, with smile that was so bright painted on his face. He did look pissed when I took the photo tought. The other one is Sasuke, a dark haired boy who looked unhappy, unlike Naruto. Those two bickered with each other almost all the time, but he did smiled when he saw Naruto tripped and fell. I would believed when someone told me they were brothers and left out the fact that they looked nothing alike.

And the only girl among them, with a blond hair that had a shade of pink and eyes as green as the leaves of the tree we were under, her name is Sakura. She scold Naruto for every time he did something stupid and looked at Sasuke with adoration in her eyes. I took a photo of her, when she looked away and the boys bussy with their kites.

We stayed there until the sun came down and the sky was bright with stars.

We parted ways then. They went home and I went to my car, with my camera packed up in my bag, ready to continue my long journey across the farm land, and caught every beautiful moments with it.

We met again when I was in that town after giving a seminar about photography. I was about to leave the parking lot when I spotted them across the road. This time there was another boy with them. He was so pale and even more emotionless than Sasuke, unless when he smiled in his weird way. They called him Sai.

I told them about the photo that I took of them. It won a contest, so I said I would like to treat them a dinner for that. Sakura smiled politely when Sasuke refused and Naruto almost shouted that he knew the best ramen restaurant in the world. Sai insisted that he came along. I just shrugged and told them to get in my car.

I lernt of their dream. Of Naruto that want to take over all of the farm land in this town. Of Sasuke that, surprisingly, just want to live with his family and stay in this town, because his brother already left them for his dream a long time ago. Of Sakura that want to be a doctor and save lives. Of Sai that want to make children's picture books.

But, it was on the third meeting that I fell for Sakura.

That night, among the blinding lights of the bussy street and looming building, miles away from her town, I caught her on my lens. It took my breath away when I saw her.

Then I called her up, we walked towards each other and just stood there. She said that she was studying at one of the university in this big city. She would be a real doctor a couple of years later. She did not know that I lived here. She said that she would say hi sooner if she knew.

We ended up catching up in a coffeeshop around the block, talking about life in a big city that was so different from her little town of farm land, about my photography career and my next project that I have not talked to anyone yet, about Naruto that dropped out of university to take over the farm land from his father, about Sasuke that became the most popular guy in university and and sick of chocolate because he got that almost every weeks from his fans, and about another boy that I barely remember except for his weird smile. We save each other's phone number that nigt.

We did not met again until another months after that. I was away, traveling to another country, taking photos of another magical moments that I want to share with the world.

This time, I really couldn't take my eyes off her.

And then I went to another side of the world, didn't met her for another month but I got her on my mind every other day, so her name flashed on my phone sometimes.

When I came back, we met again. And again. And again. Until we met almost every day. At the park. At the coffeeshop. At the library in the city. It became a necessity for me to met her every day when messages were not enough.

Then, her summer holiday came. She did not went home like she usually do. Said something about her little project with the professor or what, I don't really remember.

But I ended up inviting her to join me traveling to some places around the states. She agreed. So we traveled on my car, listening to some of the radio from each state that we went across, and getting to know each other more. I taught her how to take photographs. And she taught me what to do if I ever injured myself on the road.

We took so much photographs. On the road, when we drove. When we camped the night, with starless sky but fireflies all around us. Of little boys playing hide and seek. An old town with old people, waiting for the young ones to come back home. Of her smile when she woke with sun rays over her eyes.

We spent that summer together.

And we grow closer.

She was mine. Her hand was mine to hold. Her eyes was mine to look at. Her heart was mine to pleased. She was all mine, as I was her's.

I don't remember how it started, but we were drifting apart. She graduated from university and took residency in a big hospital. She had little to no time to share. I continue to traveled and took photographs, doing my next project. It started on the neighbouring town, and suddenly I was half way across the world, so far away from her.

I was in the city for a little break from my project when she told me that she need to come back home.

It took me some time to realized that it was over now. Whatever it was beetwen us. But it took me just a second to realized that I expected that. I felt it coming. She did not looked at me anymore even thought I looked at her as if she meant the world to me. She did not smile at me because I saw her bitting her lips, just to stop her sobbing from escaping. Soon, I realized that she was crying, that was why she didn't want to look at me.

It was then that she grab my shirt, pulled me down, and we were connected.

My first and last kiss with her.

It ended.

We went home in separate way. Her name no longer flashed on my phone. There was a moment when I almost delete her number from my phone.

But I couldn't.

It was years later that I got to see her. Right in front of me. With a smile that was so fake I wanted to laugh. Because she was no longer mine anymore.

"Where do you want to go anyway?" she said after a moment of silence.

"Just usual. Here and there. Taking photos." I tried to smile more heartfully. "What about you?"

"I'm visiting a family."

"Oh, yeah? Congratulation by the way." I gestured to her hand. "I'm glad you found someone."

"Tha- thanks." She squeezed her hands. Her eyes searched mine, but I don't want to look. It hurt too much now. "Did you?"

"What?" It caught me off guard.

"Did you find someone?"

Our eyes met. I could not tear my eyes from her anymore. My breath stopped.

All the memories that I tried to forget came back to me. All at once. I couldn't.

There was an anouncement. My flight. I couldn't do it anymore.

"I had to go."

I finally managed to say. My hand gripped my bag tightly. But we still stared into each others. I wanted her again. I wanted her to be mine again.

"Be safe." She whispered.

It looked as if she wants to say more. It looked like she wants me to stay. Just this once. I want to.

But I couldn't.

"I need to go."

It was all that I said to her.

Her lips pressed firmly, her eyes looked at me with so much love as it could. She did not say anything anymore. But she smiled.

It looked more fake than before. It hurt to see it on her face.

And I tore my eyes from her.

It became clear to us the moment we went separate way that time that we wouldn't be together again. It became clear to us the moment we saw each other again after so long that we wouldn't be together again.

So I turned my back and walked away.

It was right before I pass my bag for the detector that I turn to looked at her again.

There she was.

She was not alone this time. With a man that I knew from before. He was playing a kite with a boy who smiled so bright in a farm land back then, who did not want to leave his family and home behind. He was holding a baby, who smiled as Sakura went to hold her.

I reached into my bag and took my camera out.

It was so beautiful it hurt.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So glad to finally post something here after so many years of nothing. This is my first original English fanfic, not just a translation anymore.

I believed there are many spelling and grammar mistakes. I'll work on that.


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